Memoirs of An Oberoi Mobile

ishqbaaz

 

He gave a wry smile as yet another pretty young thing waltzed in preening, throwing a disdainful look at his bloated, corpulent self. Ah, the arrogance of youth he thought. So full of their own beauty. So frighteningly unaware of the pitfalls of life. Unable to see beyond the gloss and glamour. Absorbing the richness of the Oberoi name the moment they step over the threshold. Little understanding that reflected glory says nothing about their own self. It is but borrowed plumage.

 

The man, Khanna, gave him a hesitant smile as he withdrew slowly after showing in yet another of the latest and smartest of them. Guilt at having deceived them swimming in his eyes, vying with the obligations his job entailed. Wordlessly pleading with the one who had outlived them all to introduce the newcomer to the reality of the position. An imperceptible nod by the wizened old one giving some solace to the heaviness in Khanna’s heart.

 

The new entrant settled herself in prime position, determined to be the next one chosen to be caressed by the hands of the legendary Shivaay Singh Oberoi. She had heard tales galore about the softness of his hands, the pliable whorls of his ears, the thrilling firmness of his voice with that patent catch. He deserved to be the one holding her, to slipping her close to himself. Very, very close, she thought as a becoming blush adding a delicious tinge of rose to her golden self.

 

Much as he tried apprising her of the realities of life in Oberoi Mansion, she paid no heed to them whatsoever. Tiring of her taunts of jealousy and of her snide remarks about him being past it, he withdrew defeated. Muting out her shrill tone. Perching himself back in his place, he thought to himself with a resigned  shake of his head, there’s none as deaf as those who won’t hear.

 

It wasn’t long before a hand reached in to grab hold of her, positioned as she was for just that. Turning around to give him a triumphant smile, she sashayed out all charged up.  Muttering a small prayer for mercy, the old stalwart looked up heavenward. Not holding out much hope however. The swelling of the ranks in the household had brought with it changes, but it had also brought tempers to razor edges. Brief feints of saving were just that. Feints. The ultimate reality remained. Death.

 

A loud crash and the accompanying high pitched squeal made him wince. Sigh, as Dadi had said, family traditions and parampara were important. And, clearly, Shivaay Singh Oberoi wasn’t letting go of what his Bade Papa had started all those years back. In fact, the zeal and vigour with which he was following it was oddly fascinating to witness.

 

He geared up to bless the shattered remains of yet another pretty young thing. Plugging himself in the mains to try and charge himself up to administer the last rites. Something that had become a bit of their own tradition in that cabinet over the years. Now which caller tune should be used this time around, he mused. Puccini’s Sono Andati or maybe even Mozart’s Requiem Mass. As executive decisions seemed to be the world order of the day, he didn’t think to ask for the opinions of the remaining survivors.

 

Note:

 

I’m not sure how many of you are watching Ishqbaaz, but the mobile phone has played a starring role in many a scene. The male lead has a penchant for smashing them on a regular basis. A post made on the forum that shall not be named, sparked an idea in me and I wrote the above from the perspective of one of the ones who got away from an untimely death.

As you can see, for me, the amusement quotient and the ridiculousness of it all far outweighs the feelz where Ishqbaaz is concerned!

 

 

89 thoughts on “Memoirs of An Oberoi Mobile

    • Your take from SSO phone’s POV is extremely amusing! You do know how to make us laugh, and you writing is the added bonus. For that, I will continue to watch this absurd, ridiculous show to have discussions that forces you to tap away to do some sort of justice. Fan Fiction writing is our way to get the outcome we would love to see. And I loved it!

      Hilarious, very well written… now when can I get more?

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Wow, it has been that long! So many new words, I feel bad that my dictionary has been lying unused for over a decade.

    This is probably the first time I did not understand a tale in it’s entirety. So Ruchi di, you are THAT good. Please excuse my lack of weak vocabulary. Once I read the note and Felix ji’s comment, it occured to me that an extra element can be a source of inspiration and allow you to get wildly creative!

    Now that I have re-read it, this is brilliant to say the least! With the little I understood, the phone, if a person, would be happy to give you a standing ovation!

    Also, I should have paid attention to the title. The picture added was a clear hint as well.

    I am embarrassed and proud at the same time. There is a lot to learn, and it can be fun, thanks to you!

    Would love to read what your fans have to say now, I would be surprised if they aren’t gobsmacked!

    A smashing start to this wonderful weekend,

    Thank you di,
    Zeffy

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hello Ruchi
    First of all I have stopped watching any of serials after Ipkknd.
    Though I don’t any any of the character and their habits, I had to read this tale twice to understand.
    It was fun to read this take
    Thank u

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Your back to business yaah:))😘😘😘😘its a good take,I catch a bit of this show but not completely into it though,too much drama in the extended family department and so much plotting constantly in this show,as though one Shyam was not enough in ipk,their are three witches in this one,the thought that some had brains ,who goes inside a fridge and does not notice man,I liked the trailers on the hatch and stuff and the primary focus was on the brothers but they seem to complicate stuff as usual and some bits are draggy!!well the highlight was phones breaking in Shivaya case,I don’t remember how many he has broken but,I this take of its fate was blodsy brilliant ,right now I am watching ala and enjoying it,all caught up with the episodes and will be back after exams to continue!what are your thoughts on that ,I would for one love for you to atleast write one is on haymur:))pretty please and Murat S eyelashes are to die for anyway and then these days even men seem to agree on that:))!😂good to have you back,I loved this take on the memoir:))!!!!cheers violetgirl:))

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Ruchi, this was a fun post

    Off late, almost every episode SSO destroys a phone right

    But seriously, this is the most disjointed serial ever made in history I feel.
    Sub plots start and just vanish.
    Viewers are more confused and irritated after the end of each episode.

    Ultimately what remains in the mind of the viewers are the hideous dresses worn by Anika.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. In most instances where the phone was shattered the guy would not even care ,what got me in splits initially was the way the phone was completely away from his face and did not make contact and now thinking back,I don’t think that the phone even made contact with his cheek,poor phone man:))😂🤓🤓🤳🤳🤳

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hi some how for me Ishqbaaz didn’t. Really work, the characters are weak the camera – work shoddy & backgrounds artificial every thing including the story is over the top
    Top . I see a sporadic episode once in a couple of weeks & mostly the chemistry btw the main characters
    Missing in comparison in IPKKND
    Bearded the leads each character
    Was a one off with their own stories to tell

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I watch this show hoping … hoping … just hoping that it would take me down memory lane … 😳😕 but it gets more frustrating by the day !!! And the three witches of Macbeth are so frustratingly made up !!! what with such heavy makeup and the bright lipsticks !!! I promise myself that I’m not going to watch the next episode but … 🙄
    That was very well written on the poor cellphone bearing the brunt of Shivay’s anger every time and flung so forcefully across the room … bechara cell phone …

    Liked by 3 people

    • K, you understand the dard of the phonewa!

      Those 3 vamps are unbelievable. And the fact that they turn out to be sisters even more so. I mean, how far can credibility be stretched.

      I had written a parody on Svetlana after seeng her walk in the ajeeb storm whipped up by God know what, Cheshire grin firmly in place. With apologies to Lord Byron …

      “She walks in beauty, like the night

      Of fluttering leaves and stormy skies;

      And all that’s best of dark and sly

      Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

      Thus hidden in that sultry light

      Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

      One shade the more, one ray the less,

      Had half impaired the slithering grace

      Which waves in every raven tress,

      Or harshly shines o’er her face;

      Where thoughts torridly egregious express,

      How impure, how vile their dwelling-place.

      And on that cut glass cheek, and o’er that arched brow,

      So defined, so mute, yet eloquent,

      The smiles that entrap, the anklets that glow,

      But tell of days in odiousness spent,

      A Machiavellian mind at conflict with all below,

      A hate filled heart whose love is anything but innocent”

      😂

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh no! Another show… ❤
    But your writing always beckons, irresistible. So, here I am, knowing little about the show, still 'raising a sardonic brow' at the phone debacle. LOL
    Keep writing my dearest. When you write, I will read. <3.
    –M

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Sorry sis,i’m not following any serials after IPKKND..i googled the show..the same production house,a bubbly heroine, three brothers!!i felt like reading ipkknd in an alternate universe with Arnav,Akash and NK..no offense..the three brothers reminded me some of awesome Arshi FFs,especially mint’s Limerence in IF..

    this is fun..I’m sorry for bringing IPKKND here..but i can’t stop myself from comparing it to Arnav’s blackberry and it’s lucky..

    Liked by 3 people

  10. This was beautiful! I don’t watch the show – I have very low patience for watching Indian serials… I think I started watching IPK after reading some FFs! And then fell in love with the show and more importantly the characters!
    But I love to read what you write – it’s so poetic! This was about a phone yet you made it very interesting!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Well even if the title said it…i loved apki phone ki kahani…
    i have not watched much shows after IPK maybe coz i end up comparing it or wishing it to be starred by our Arshi jodi….
    maybe i should see this one…

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Ruchi! I’m laughing like a loon, and people are giving me the basket case look. XD

    I haven’t the faintest idea of what this show is about, but whenever I’ve caught Shivaay as I surf through the channels, it has only reminded me of a phrase  – ‘Gussa naak pe chada rehta hain’.

    You don’t need me to say it was well written. You know it already. If everyone else and I haven’t said this enough, you need to write a story, dear friend. The quill dipped in royal ink and your parchments await. 

    Liked by 3 people

    • Nivi 😘

      I can only see the amusement in this show, never the feelz. After all,

      Hum ek baar jite hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek hi baar hoti hai, aur pyaar, pyaar bhi ek hi baar hota hai

      The feathers in the quill need a lot more maintenance before sullying the parchment ☺️

      Liked by 3 people

  13. Have been watching this serial on and off as I like the lead Nakul. But hate the loose plot line and the repeated story thread.

    I loved your take on SSO’s mobile. I have always noticed the way he holds mobile and wondered about it. Your take made me so curious, and at the end, I was laughing out loud. You are really too good. Hoping to see more stories.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you so much 🤗

      The plot, such as it is, meanders from one scene to the other through the most circuitous route they can think of! And now they have a spin off to add to the confusion. I reckon that cabinet is going to see more comings and goings 😂

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Lord Barun.. Wait, Byron ji are awaiting for an update. Kahin kamal ji syaahee na sookh jaaye!

    What a wonderful read, I somehow enjoy reading the interpretations more. Hijacking a thread/post is uncool. So do we get an opportunity to move to a new one?

    Hope everyone here is having a wonderful week, the weekend isn’t far away,

    Zeffy

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Too late I know…..
    Sorry, I don’t have a clue about this show.
    In fact, I haven’t watched any show after our beloved, hamesha wala show….
    But your writing always amazes me.
    Keep writing, will you….
    Love always…..

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Too late I know…..
    Sorry, I don’t have a clue about this show.
    In fact, I haven’t watched any show after our beloved, hamesha wala show….
    But your writing always amazes me.
    Keep writing, will you….
    Love always…..

    Liked by 1 person

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